everything

In the course of things lately I've found a great deal of happiness and satisfaction in going with the flow. By this I mean I've let go of trying to get what I want and decided to go where the universal river takes me (by universal river I might mean god, i might mean fate, i might mean chi, i probably mean all these things . They're all the same thing as far as i've found.) .Becoming a profesional welder is what I'm doing right now, it all came about very definately as what I'm supposed to be doing and in doing so I've become happier, wealthier, healthier and more available to my family, pets and friends. if that ain't a sign I'm doing the right thing I don't know what would be.
Please don't take this as meaning i'm some flake who chants at flowers and meditates to the sound of a cherrub peeing in a pond ( read my last post ) I did have to take hold of the oppertunities as they came my way, but trusting in the fact that by bieng a good person and following the signs that came my way and taking pleasure in the little bits of the world that I happen to see, life has become pretty enjoyable and quite relaxing, not the stressfull angry existance I was dealing with. ( meaning I hated my job was broke constantly and was rarely at home long enough to enjoy anything enough to make the rest of it worthwile.)

violence and sheepdogs

It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.
~ Mahatma Gandhi

I got this quote from a website article about how three people stood impotent watching a man beat a child to death, waiting six and a half minutes on a back road for a police officer to fly in , in a helicopter and shoot the man square in the forehead.

I found the website http://defendyourself101.ca/ whilst researching womens self defense, the full article is here so you don't hafta search for it.

The reason for my personal search on women's self defense is because I want to start my own self defense class using the skills and techniques I know to help women feel safe. I know that women get hit, I know that the main reason they get hit is because some insacure asshole needs to prove his manhood by hitting, and this same insacure asshole doesn't have the spine to face the real source of his insacurity, or the balls to challeng a real man to prove himself. When I say real man I don't mean some testosterone fueled meathead, I'm talking about the kind of man my grandfather was, opening doors for ladies, saying please and thank you. The kind of man I try to be, knowing right from wrong, loving with all i have, bieng respectfull, crying when needed, and not hesitating for a moment to rip the head off anything that threatens the things I love.

This leads me to the sheepdogs. I found a thing that describes people as one of three types. Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs.

Sheep are described as USEFULL, Productive members of sociaty who would only hurt another sheep by accident, they also live in denial about violence.

Wolves are described as using violence to meet their needs, they prey upon the sheep with no hesitation to harm, maim or kill to satisfy their cravings.

Sheepdogs are described as having the gift of aggresion, understanding that violence exists, willing to defend self and family, and having the ability to use force aginst wolves never sheep.

Sheepdogs are often found in law enforcement, the military or the martial art comunity. Sheepdogs often make the sheep uncomfortable because they remind them that the wolves are out there. They also make the sheep uncomfortable because they have fangs like the wolf, fur like the wolf, and are constantly looking for the oppertunity to engage the wolf in battle...The very thing the sheep fear.

I'm pretty sure that if more people were a bit more dogged about defending themselves and a little less sheepish towards violance, the wolves would have a lot harder time staying wolves. It doesn't take much to stop a violent crime, especially against women, since the majority of violence against women is about controll. If a woman shows that SHE'S in control of herself and confidant in herself usually violence doesn't happen. From a personal standpoint, The one person who is always gonna be there if something bad is going to happen to me ,the one person who has the most to gain by defending me, the one person who has the most to lose by standing by and not defending me is ME. If you don't take a vested interest in keeping yourself safe why would anyone else, and regardless of wether they do the only person that is garuanteed to be there if you need defending is you.

Thats all for now, I'm going to bed.

saturday night woo hoo

It's 7:39 pm saturday night, and i just tried to find a funny picture of some drunk folk to link to and it made me kinda sad.

So heres this instead.

I was thinking of rambling on about bieng old and staying home on a saturday night but decide to NOT do that.

I'm gonna do this instead.

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Enjoy :)

doing or reading

The thing about bieng in a school setting again after about 18 years is that at now I understand the mechanics of my personal learning style much better then I did way . . . WAY back when.
I know now that I learn things 100 times faster if I get to DO something, screw it up a few times and finally get it right on my own, rather then read about it, be told about it and then be expected to have it perfect first try. I've gained this insight from experience and a vacuum cleaner commercial. The vacuum cleaner was a Dyson and what the commercial said was that they screwed up about 500 times before they got it right. This made me think about the things I did well and I realized that the stuff I was good at, I mean REALLY good at, I had spent alot of time doing, and mostly doing poorly before I got good at it.
Getting back to the Schooling part, today was the first day in the shop. All we did was light a torch, but we had to prove we could do it using proper as tought procedures. I realized that the first try is always going to be flawed somehow, and I mean the first try of anything simply because it's new and foriegn (The quote " the best teacher is experience" holds true, no matter what the new thing is.) but I now like screwing stuff up a bit when something's new, it means I'm human and can develop my own way of doing things. I appreciate the fact that there's less waste in the world if people screw up less stuff, but that's the end result. Not the first try. I've come to enjoy the process of learning instead of hating being tought stuff. Being tought never worked on me because deep down I wanted to mess things up a bit and see what happened, learn from my mistakes.
I really apprecite the opertunity I have right now to grow in who I am and get rid of some of the crap I've been carrying around since high school. honestly I didn't know I was carrying it until I went back to school but now I'm quite glad to lay that bag of bull$#!% down and light it on fire on the principals doorstep.

P.S. have I mentioned how much I love my wife for putting up with me, and the fact that she's HOT

My money rant

Hre's my bit on the evils of money. As some may know I have recently Quit working to become a student, so I can get a better job, a career to be exact ( enough of this working a JOB crap.). And knowing that I have a great support system behind me,i.e. family and stuff, I knew finances wouldn't be too much of a stresser. Shit was I wrong. (it's amazing the level of stress one can get used too and accept as normal) It's only been about two weeks without a paycheck and all would seem fine, it wasn't. The feeling of not being able to pay the bills and take care of my family was slowly weighing down on me. By now some of you might be thinking " why wouldn't you have all that taken care of with savings BEFORE you quit working." or " why didn't you get a student loan " .Well I thought I had the financial part worked out with E.I. helping and the word of my former work saying they'd lay me off. Nope on both. Student loan it was I guess.

The reason this is all coming out like this is, I got my student loan papers back today saying yes they'd give me money. The relief I felt actually brought tears to my eyes. ( even bruce lee {my dog} came over and gave some love) Knowing that some money was going to come in and allow me to continue my training/schooling AND pay bills without having to scramble and scrape for the money is a big relief.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that not having enough money to take care of your loved ones is a bit too much stress for a comfort loving taurus like me. not too much stress to not take the sketchy road for the aries in me.

Thank you out there whoever provided for me this great relief of money. thanks.

And now, let the lightshow begin

deep thoughts

It's not the size of the helmut, it's whats in it that matters.
late tired nighty night.
smile.

just figuring stuff out

So I go over to my wifes blog and she's got some amazing and fun things going on,( I especially like the pictures cause she's kinda dirty he he). she's figured out how to do some pretty neat stuff. So i'm just bumpin around the old computertron 1000 figuring stuff out. I've kinda got a handle on things and it's getting easier all the time.

I'm trying to get one more thingdone but it's gonna take some expert advice I think so i'll talk more later